Month: February 2018

Letting go…….Holding on……Letting go…….Holding on………

Regina Phalange

Neither are easy……….When it comes to that someone……..

Over the past many months my girlfriend thought she had moved on……gotten over him. Who was she kidding?
She hadn’t see him in months, a few text messages here and there. One day she found herself sitting 2 seats away from him at the movies without her knowing this. After the show she discovered he was there. They chatted a little parted ways, she found herself sending him a message to meet to chat. He had given her the yes let’s try message. Only not hear from him……

One day she decided she need to let go….. So since he wasn’t giving her an opportunity to just have a face to face conversation. She simply wanted to tell him what was never said, what she needed to share with him. When they last saw each other, there was no closure, nothing. He had too much life going on he just couldn’t manage anything, or anyone else. She knew this was ok, she wasn’t going to stalk him, she wasn’t going to chase, and she knew she had to let him go… He had to go and manage his life…. Fast forward months later she was given an opportunity to finally tell him everything she needed to tell him.

When they finally met, she told him she knew why he needed to do what he needed to do. Even though she knew he didn’t mean to break her heart. He did that, he broke her heart. She needed him to know this, she needed him to know she knew it wasn’t intentional. She just needed him to know what she had been through. She needed him to know that when she saw him at the movies she knew she was still in love with him. As nervous as she was, the minute she expressed all of what she felt and needed to say. It was as though she opened her window and her soul flew free. She claims it was an amazing feeling…

Where are they now….. All they know is everything is out on the table. She knows his playing field, he knows hers. All that can be done at this point, is to let the wind take them to their next cloud…..

Here is what I know………..

Being able to tell the one you love exactly what is on your mind, even though you may not be together, gives you more control over your emotions, feelings and heart. Stay cautious and guarded………..Our hearts are tender…
Protect it, play it safe, keep it real! Always!

 

 

Complete Expression…..

Regina Phalange

When we can do this, share complete expression……….One can actually experience that moment. Where you open your eyes…………..you take a deep breath, and you feel the smile come across your face, your mind and your heart.
It comes on many levels.

I experienced this over the past handful of weeks. Found myself ensconced with being able to have “Complete Expression” with those from my past. Most important I was then able to walk away and not look back. Maybe it was their conscious finally getting to them. Perhaps they just needed to find their own “Complete Expression”. Mostly they gave me the opportunity to have my own “Complete Expression”. What is most important is that I was able to let so much go! Walk away and be completely ok. It was a pretty amazing feeling. These people know they deserved to hear everything that was needed to be said. I suppose my hope is that they hear what they said, and that they listened to what I had to Completely Express what was on my mind, in my heart and what needed to be said…. Complete Expression!

Here is what I know……

Nothing more gratifying then being able to tell someone what is riddling in your mind, expressing your emotional and vulnerable side.

Knowing you’ve said all you needed to say, “Complete Expression.”

 

Games….Life…….

Regina Phalange

It’s interesting to stop and think about the games people can play and will play.

Not once stopping to think of who they’re hurting, who they’re disappointing, who they’re letting down. When one plays the vulnerability game on someone it becomes a challenge. With no regards to the pawn you are playing with. It is truly sad that people feel that this type of behavior is okay. Why are we all in the bitter barn?????…..It’s because of these games that others play upon each other. Thinking that it’s OK……Imagine if you could what it’s be like to the ensconced with someone who’s on the same page.  Not taking advantage of your vulnerability or judging your sincerity on how you’re handling being real and honest.
A good friend of mine found this game being played in her most recent past. She found herself falling for someone but didn’t want feelings to be involved and thought the physical side of it would be all she would want. He was very much the same way. That is what he told her anyway. Over the course of many months he distances himself but still put the carrot out for her to nibble on. Playing with her vulnerability being upset with her because well he wasn’t asking her out and other people were. Which in his eyes was wrong because he had told her how he felt. But had no action behind it. She cast her feelings aside as best ahw could however her vulnerability still opened up and he took advantage of that.
She discovered he was probably sharing the same feelings about how he felt with other women. And when approached he of course tried to twist and turn the scenario on her. Attempting her to feel the wrong doing was on her, and not on him, he was/is playing with her emotions, her vulnerability. Finally she had enough, especially when she discovered he had been misleading her for months on end.  So when he reached out she took a stance! The difference this time is that she isn’t allowing him to take her vulnerability. Playing with it the way he sees fit on how the game should come out in the long run and that’s really to benefit him. And on his time and what he wants.
Unfortunately for him karma karma karma doesn’t like it when you don’t follow the rules.  Be careful  here people.. Karma will find you…..
 I won’t get into the karma piece because I’m sure we as adults can read into that. We know it does come back to bite you, haunt you. There are no shortcuts in life. Some of us just figure things out sooner than others , so if you want to call that a shortcut sure………….. And so what she is left with is a stronger wall of being guarded, cautious with everybody around her. Why is she so harsh with circumstances and bitter with others. With that wall solid as a rock in the wonderful world of dating?
Unfortunately I don’t have the answer…..
But here is what I know………. if we are going to look at dating like a board game then maybe people should play games by the rules and be respectful of how those rules are played.  Know that there are consequences that will come with the wrong move……. know that no matter whether you win or lose everybody is a winner if the game is played right….