Sometimes you just have to be still…….

This can really relate to anything in general. But for this therapy session it’s about a boy and a girl…..

Recently someone shared their be still moment…..about their relationship…….with me.

Online dating……. Yes it starts there.

One day a girl made the first move. Isn’t that what we are suppose to do if we find ourselves doing the on-line dating thing? So this girl came across this boy’s profile. She like his photo and things he likes to do  from his online dating profile. She decided to reach out.. She did not expect him to respond, and low behold he did. Immediately they had an online connection.  They both felt it, most of us have been there, we have at the very least experienced this. So you all know what I am talking about. If not, my gwad get out from under that ROCK so you can experience already.  And so…..  It quickly went to texting. Which some would say don’t jump into texting right away. aaaaaaa why would that be?  It would be like having that great connection with someone you bump into at the market, or a department store, even a coffee shop. If it makes sense to pass on your card, then so be it. So moving the interview along seems to be the next step.

Ok…so…anyrate…………… With in a matter of maybe 30 minutes, it moved right to actual voice conversation. BAM a boy……a girl…….who actually wants to talk on the phone! Yes! With their wondering eyes what did they hear.. Chemistry, a connection, who has time to waste? We are after all not just older.. we are wiser.. At this stage in the game of life, we should have some idea of what in a person makes us tick.  What we like and what we don’t like. So if it feels right, then don’t just put your toes in the water, put the entire foot. And see where the steps take you.  Of course be guarded and cautions and always keep it real..

Time spent with one another a variety of ways. Today’s technology has given us that! Skype, Texting, phone to phone, even more ways to communicate then just being distant with a text.  Respectful effective communication. This people………..is something that we all know doesn’t come around that often. So the idea of exploring it with a matter of this and a matter of that, to throw a spin in it, makes each of these people want to know the other better. They both move to take the next steps.

Their “Be Still” moment came soon after they meeting, and spending time together.  One had to pull away..Not because of the other.  But because LIFE happens and sometimes it’s A LOT of Life in a short period of time. Some can manage it pretty well. Some aren’t sure where to even begin. Some are all over the place about it. So when one of you has to be still in the relationship, and you know it, then do it……Be Still.. Let the Storm, the Tsunami, whatever you want to call Life at that time, just walk through the steps.  We are only Human, and we will make mistakes on how we handle Life and a relationship at the same time. It is after all a Life of itself. One of the two had to pull away… Leaving the other left to practice Being Still!  This isn’t the easiest part of the relationship. Why is that? It’s because we may be the type that wants to help fix it… Remember this, YOU CAN’T!! So stop trying… Just share what you know… Even if someone asks you what you think? Don’t be their therapist…. Just keep what you know, simple… SIMPLE….SIMPLE….

Giving each other a time out was what was needed. Not pushing away, just stepping back and letting the other have their time out. And when it was time, the other knew when to reach out.  When they were able to talk, things were aired out about the happenings in “LIFE”. It was something that just needed to be communicated and listened to. At this stage in the game of Life we should all be much wiser. Take that time out and just “Be Still”.  By doing this they were able to move to the next step in their relationship, an even better understanding where the other is in their game of “LIFE”

So here is what I know….

We all have many lives we live through every single day. Our life with ourselves, our children, our family, our friends, our work, our home, and through all that……..Life………..sometimes it becomes overwhelming and we need to just simply practice the art of Being Still….. When you can do that, you then know you can “Be Still” when LIFE happens…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Reflection……

Over the past few days I have found reflection in so much around me. I needed to express about.. You know rage on the page.

This will be the first year, in many, many years I will be alone. Not literally, but without my stations, my little mini me, my most dear best friend and her little stations, my other great friends, my family (my immediate family live in Iowa, Wisconsin, California, Texas, Florida, Minnesota). This year my close stations, my family………… will not be around to give thanks with each other. As I reflect on that I think about what I could do, what I might do, what I want to do, mostly what I can do……. No…….. you won’t find me having a lonesome pitty party. No…………. not to sit at home under a cozy blanket and over indulge on NetFlix and consume what I could say more Vodka/Tonics/3 Limes then I ever would or want to…..

However that is not what is going to happen.

In my life I find myself being still……a lot………. Meaning…… I know to gather all the information before reacting. I know to just listen… I know when to lead a helpful banter…. I know when someone needs someone…. Simply to just help….. Yes I put myself out there……. Never expecting anything in return….. I do this because I want to…  It helps me to be still…. To reflect on what is in front of me. It’s for one person’s benefit…Mine.. I find peace, understanding and a great sense of being still… Reflection……

I am pretty sure most of us do not think about reflection in helping others. As a means to being still.. Letting that feeling of being able to just put yourself out there to assist one person who at that moment can’t find it in themselves to just be still….

Here is what I know…. I am so Thankful that people allow me to help them, assist them, listen to them, be there for them, as I can, do and want to……

Try it………….

 

regina-sig2