Tag: Moment

When it happens..

Regina Phalange

How do you know? You know when it happens… You will know…That moment you know you have fallen in love.

Recently someone shared with me the moment………..they knew. Her description was so full of happy, I could feel it for her.

As we become wiser with age, we know or at least we should  know what we want and need. So why waste time if it’s right in front of you? You shouldn’t, nor should you let anyone tell you otherwise.  They haven’t or are walking in your shoes.

For both it seemed to happen early on. How did she know……..for him at least that,  it seemed to be from of the comments he had made. She knew she needed to be very cautious and guarded. Since it had been almost 15 years since she actually felt the falling in love part.  After they started seeing each other, she sensed something different about how she felt.  There was no games, there was no BS, there was just real open honesty. Sharing what the other was seeking and searching for. Learning to understand the quirks they both noticed of the other. Listening to what the other had to say, sharing about their day, their kids, their life so to speak. This was something they both realized neither had in a very long time. The edification was something he was not used to.  She is a believer in edifying someone, building people up, is key in her world. It’s what helps makes us a better person inside and out.

After a few weeks it seemed words were being said, just not the actual I have fallen in love with you words. She didn’t want to jump on verbiage just yet. As most of us know, we need to be sure we are sensing what the other is, ya know the same page thing. What’s nerve racking about it, is that what if it’s one sided, what if one is fully there and the other is not. And you are the one who is and share how you feel only to be let down……..Hello people this is the risk we must be OK with taking when we begin and continue through a relationship. Tip your toes into the water, and then take those next steps. You have to so you know where you are heading.

And sooooo… One evening he made a comment to her about how he could feel that it was love. She was taken aback by it. Yet before she could even respond, a distraction came into play. The conversation was left up in the air. The next day after milling over how they got to that conversation, she was overwhelmed with emotions that she hadn’t felt in years. It brought this fluttery feeling within her, this sensation of happy feelings that took over her day. Enough to where she allowed herself to float along with the feelings all day long. She knew what it was……….she knew she had fallen in love with this man. When they finally had the opportunity to have the discussion, she was prepared. He beat her to the punch, yes this is where it get good, mushy, romantic, magical. They shared their day with each other as she prepared dinner, moved move into the evening and the moment hit, she went to get him a beverage and she turned around and there he was. He took her face in his hands softly, looked deep in her eyes and said “I have fallen in love with you”. She was over joyed with emotions, she looked back at him and smiled and took a deep slow breath and said “I have fallen in love with you too”.

Sharing with each other how they had been feeling for sometime but both being very guarded and cautious about it. As not to scare the other away…. Tip toeing around the subject until the moment, timing was right….

So here is what I know….

If it is meant to happen…….let it…….. don’t what if it.. People come into our lives for a reason, short term, long term whatever the case may be, we encounter people everyday. They are there for a reason….  Embrace it and let it take you were it may and don’t question it. You might find them to be just what you needed and had been searching for the whole time.

 

 

Sometimes you just have to be still…….

Regina Phalange

This can really relate to anything in general. But for this therapy session it’s about a boy and a girl…..

Recently someone shared their be still moment…..about their relationship…….with me.

Online dating……. Yes it starts there.

One day a girl made the first move. Isn’t that what we are suppose to do if we find ourselves doing the on-line dating thing? So this girl came across this boy’s profile. She like his photo and things he likes to do  from his online dating profile. She decided to reach out.. She did not expect him to respond, and low behold he did. Immediately they had an online connection.  They both felt it, most of us have been there, we have at the very least experienced this. So you all know what I am talking about. If not, my gwad get out from under that ROCK so you can experience already.  And so…..  It quickly went to texting. Which some would say don’t jump into texting right away. aaaaaaa why would that be?  It would be like having that great connection with someone you bump into at the market, or a department store, even a coffee shop. If it makes sense to pass on your card, then so be it. So moving the interview along seems to be the next step.

Ok…so…anyrate…………… With in a matter of maybe 30 minutes, it moved right to actual voice conversation. BAM a boy……a girl…….who actually wants to talk on the phone! Yes! With their wondering eyes what did they hear.. Chemistry, a connection, who has time to waste? We are after all not just older.. we are wiser.. At this stage in the game of life, we should have some idea of what in a person makes us tick.  What we like and what we don’t like. So if it feels right, then don’t just put your toes in the water, put the entire foot. And see where the steps take you.  Of course be guarded and cautions and always keep it real..

Time spent with one another a variety of ways. Today’s technology has given us that! Skype, Texting, phone to phone, even more ways to communicate then just being distant with a text.  Respectful effective communication. This people………..is something that we all know doesn’t come around that often. So the idea of exploring it with a matter of this and a matter of that, to throw a spin in it, makes each of these people want to know the other better. They both move to take the next steps.

Their “Be Still” moment came soon after they meeting, and spending time together.  One had to pull away..Not because of the other.  But because LIFE happens and sometimes it’s A LOT of Life in a short period of time. Some can manage it pretty well. Some aren’t sure where to even begin. Some are all over the place about it. So when one of you has to be still in the relationship, and you know it, then do it……Be Still.. Let the Storm, the Tsunami, whatever you want to call Life at that time, just walk through the steps.  We are only Human, and we will make mistakes on how we handle Life and a relationship at the same time. It is after all a Life of itself. One of the two had to pull away… Leaving the other left to practice Being Still!  This isn’t the easiest part of the relationship. Why is that? It’s because we may be the type that wants to help fix it… Remember this, YOU CAN’T!! So stop trying… Just share what you know… Even if someone asks you what you think? Don’t be their therapist…. Just keep what you know, simple… SIMPLE….SIMPLE….

Giving each other a time out was what was needed. Not pushing away, just stepping back and letting the other have their time out. And when it was time, the other knew when to reach out.  When they were able to talk, things were aired out about the happenings in “LIFE”. It was something that just needed to be communicated and listened to. At this stage in the game of Life we should all be much wiser. Take that time out and just “Be Still”.  By doing this they were able to move to the next step in their relationship, an even better understanding where the other is in their game of “LIFE”

So here is what I know….

We all have many lives we live through every single day. Our life with ourselves, our children, our family, our friends, our work, our home, and through all that……..Life………..sometimes it becomes overwhelming and we need to just simply practice the art of Being Still….. When you can do that, you then know you can “Be Still” when LIFE happens…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When we fall….

Regina Phalange

How do you fall???

In the moment/s…

In Lust….

In love…

No matter what it is, when we fall, it can and will have many different outcomes. We may only be looking for one outcome, but don’t be surprised if it’s nothing as you had thought it could be. We don’t have a magic crystal ball to see into the future. We can’t control what will happen when we fall in the moment, in lust or in love.  We have to simply open up our window and left our soul fly free.

When the moment strikes us it does come out of no where, it’s that moment someone smiles at you in that way, that makes your heart skip a beat or 3. It’s that moment you notice them leaning in to breath in just how good you smell and you notice it and they are glad you did. It’s that moment you both feel that chemistry, that connection. It’s that moment you know you want to taste their lips and feel their skin. It’s that moment when you are ready to fall asleep and wake up and they are what/who seems to be on your mind. It’s that moment you get a text or a phone call from them that makes your heart smile. It’s that moment they share something from their childhood that is special to them. It’s that moment they listen to you. It’s that moment when you look into each others eyes and you both just know…….

Lustful thoughts…… sensual lustful thoughts…It’s that moment you stop and think of them and you feel the energy of being with them sore through your body. It’s that moment they touch your skin you feel it from head to toe. It’s that moment you want to take them and do what you have discussed for weeks and just go with it. It’s that moment when your eyes roll to the back of your head and you are in the moment and just let go. It’s that moment where you allow yourself to be vulnerable to this person and they are with you. It’s that moment where each others fantasies comes to life.  It’s that moment when you look into each others eyes and you both just know.

In love…..This isn’t something to tread lightly. It’s that moment it hits you like a brick. It’s those moments you can’t stop thinking about them. It’s the moment our friend calls you out on it, and asks. you fell in love didn’t you? And you were trying to be quite about it. It clearly didn’t work.  It’s that moment you feel you shouldn’t give up. It’s that moment they ask you not to give up on them. It’s that moment they say you are who I want to be with. It’s that moment they say you are the only one I want. It’s that moment you look into each others eyes and you both just know.

Love, Lust, Moment/s they strike you from no where…

So…..Here is what I know…..

Take the chance of something that could be your amazing…