| Dawn Ristow <dawn.ristow@gmail.com> | 6:10 PM (0 minutes ago) | |
| to me |
Break Ups…. Weather they be with a boyfriend or girlfriend or just a friend are never easy. After it happens you sit, you ponder in it…..and ponder in it…..and ponder in it. Why? Because you are human, and have emotions that we can’t always control. Do you think what could I have done differently? Do you think boy I should have seen that coming? Do you think what is it I did wrong? Do you think maybe it’s for the best. Do you think eventually they are going to be found out and will be called out on their BS.
Once you get past the thinking and are able to have clear vision and it doesn’t linger in the back of your mind will they be back?
A good friend of mine shared with me recently a break up that she went through. Wasn’t even really a break up. It was more of a expression of honesty that led to her friend completely ignoring her ghosting her more or less. Effective communication is so important and any and all relationships. It’s not always going to be good it’s not always going to be bad. It’s not always going to be bells and whistles. Just simply have regards for the other person’s emotions.
Unfortunately my friend thought she had effective communication was happening. Honesty keeping things real, is exactly what both of these people boasted about. It’s what made their relationship real. At least that what she thought. Then one day my friend was sucker punched. So to speak. She discovered something about her friend….that they clearly they had been lying for some time. They weren’t honest, they weren’t open and they took the vulnerability my friend was able to share and sucker punched her.
Now fortunately my friend is strong enough to take that and say no more. What’s most interesting is that when she revealed complete and utter honesty She had discovered after that that this person had been lying. That most likely they had been lying for some time The good thing is My friend did not reach back out to this so called friend to lay it on the line. She decided it wasn’t worth the time the energy or the efforts.
What she did do was mark her calendar. She marked her calendar because the pattern of behavior of this friend like so many others is that they’ll be back. Thinking that their secret is hidden deep and because time will have pasted and no one will know the wiser. When and if this so called friend reaches back out to her in a few months she will take the opportunity meet with them and effectively communicate the lies that she discovered.
What will this do for her. It will give her the satisfaction of having complete, utter clear vision and closure.
Here is what I know…If you cannot be honest with somebody keep your mouth shut. Leave that person and anyone else be. Don’t spout about wanting complete honesty when you can’t be honest yourself..
Because liars always are found out…
