Category: Sage Advise

Curiosity….Gets the best of us….

Regina Phalange

Curiosity…….. Well you know what happens with that…right? If you don’t then it hasn’t gotten to the cat in your life. Sometimes when we decide as a parent to be curious. We come upon something of our child/ren’s………and we take a moment to learn it……understand it……read it……..put ourselves in what they have experienced. (our child/ren is what I am talking about here).  You can feel yourself walking in the shoes they are walking in right now. With out all the gaga as a parent….showing it off to all the world to see….. It’s a moment where you decide as a parent to simply keep it to yourself. It’s worthy of your heart holding, that expressed moment your child shared, just not with you.


Here is what I know………. Give your children the Room to express themselves. In one way shape or form. When you as a parent stumble upon, their moment…..it let it take your breath away and Marvel in the wisdom that they have discovered. Listen to the love they are sharing. Hear how it makes them feel. Have hope that they will learn, understand and know right from wrong.  And mostly to have faith that what they feel is real…….

For my sweet girl………………Sofia

The “Friend Zone” again.

Regina Phalange

“Friend Zoned” This statement is one so many just don’t want to be in. They feel so strongly about someone, think there is this connection, and chemistry. Only to discover this person they are romantically interested in, needs to be 100% sure, so they then put you in the “Friends Zone”. Because they don’t want to hurt your feelings, or give you the wrong impression, or lead you on. WTAF? Isn’t this what they are actually doing? Hanging out with you, getting to know you, talking playfully with you, flirting with you. Only to once again be told we we are “Friends” remember. BUZZZZ KILL at it’s finest. Now their reasoning behind it, is their past, they just don’t want to make the same mistake. So aaaaa are they thinking you could be their future mistake? No one is perfect, so how is it possible to make decisions based on their past experiences towards their future? Because they are holding their past in front of their future.

No wonder so many are cautious and guarded. I mean we need to be right? However, with that being said, we shouldn’t let our past dictate our future or present! If there is an opportunity knocking at your door, you should really open it up and let it in. Explore what is being put in front of you. Else that opportunity will pass you by and when you find yourself ready for the move, that opportunity is gone.

Timing…. Is NOT 1 sided, there are usually 2 people involved. It is not about one of you, who needs to be “sure” and it has to be on their “time”. How is that fair? It’s not, in any way, shape, or form. A relationship no matter what level or who it’s with, is about respect, of each others time. The best gift you can give anyone. So when you say it has to be on your time, quite frankly that is selfish, and completely one sided. So not fair to the other party involved. When they decided enough is enough, it won’t be on them, it will be you the one who wanted to be “sure”.

Even with all the chemistry and connection between you both, it’s a two sided street. Respect the signs, indeed, either merge together and explore the journey, or move on. Stop leading someone down a path that is going no where, especially when they know what they want, and what fills their cup and you know it. All you are doing is just that, leading them on.

Here is what I know….. Magic doesn’t happen often, life doesn’t always bring the right opportunity, timing is that…….timing, just don’t sit on the timing to long…. People aren’t desperate, just because they aren’t with someone, and you show up all of a sudden because you are ready. Remember they were ready way back when. You should have taken the opportunity when it was knocking at your door, but you chose to let them keep knocking.

When you get to a certain age, you just know…… When life presents you with magic, believe in it, it’s there for a reason.

“Ghosted”

Regina Phalange

Ghosted…. Who hasn’t been? And if you really think about it, it’s not just being Ghosted by a partner/lover. Family and friends are just as quilty of this act. I have no idea where this term came from. But dang it, it’s HORRIBLE. Why can’t people just be clear, be open, be honest about their feelings with someone? What is so hard about that? Isn’t that what we were taught, to tell the truth? It escapes me when I hear about someone who has gone through this. I listen and try and see where their Ghosting experience is similar to many I have been through. And if I can gain any knowledge, in case I go through it, yet once again.

This is perhaps why I am still single. It’s been a long time since I have been in a relationship, and all that comes with it. The last one I was Ghosted, so badly, I found out 2 weeks after no phone calls, no text messages, ZIP, that he had gotten a hugh pay cut and decided to move back down south. Humm and you didn’t think to let the women you were exclusive with about your plan? I mean who does this? What adult man or woman would think this is ok? Clearly this guy thought it was fine, leaving me hang from his last message until finally 2 weeks later to get the so called full story. Just unbelievable. What’s really sad about Ghosting, is it can happen to anyone, anytime and because it’s happened more often than not, our guard is up, and we are more cautious then ever. Sometimes so much, you end up missing opportunities, because those walls are up and strong.

I like to believe most of us were brought up to treat others with respect, tell the truth, and be honest. Where and when did this fall short in society today?

Here is what I know…… Be better!

What is happening?

Regina Phalange

What a time we live in! It’s like a movie playing out right in front of us. Some like the story line, some hate it, and others don’t care enough. To each their own, yes, keep in mind though if you don’t care enough, then perhaps keeping quite is the best method to the madness.

Here is what I know….. There is to much hate in the world and not enough love. But there is HOPE, let’s all find a way to Be Still… and continue to have HOPE!

Are people really still doing this?

Regina Phalange

One would think that when we hit a certain age, game playing, b.s.’ing, scammers, “those people” would get a clue, that at a certain age most of us see right through all of that. Why do some people still feel this type of behavior is OK? Why do some people feel it’s OK to toy with others emotions? Why do they feel it’s OK? It’s just not!

When someone opens their emotions, their heart and their soul to someone, they do so with the intention that it will go down a path they are both looking for. And just when you think finally on the same page, Nope just kidding they are not even in the same book. One lead the other with hopes, dreams, seeking someone to love them and they wanted to love someone back. Taking a verbal fairy-tale walk so to speak, the wow this all sounds to good to be true. First rule of thumb if it seems like this, then guess what? It most likely is to good to be true. We can only really appreciate being true to ourselves first. It’s the only way you can be good for others. If you don’t get that, then you truly don’t appreciate what life has to offer you.

Here is what I know…. When someone floats in and out of your life, take that as a sign to let them go. In and out of your life, not just staying in your life, but floating out of your life over and over again. For whatever the reason may be, your better with them out of your life then in.

Be open to listening.

Regina Phalange

Listen… Just sit back and listen…… Sometimes people just need to be heard……. Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with people, family, friends, whom ever and wanted to pipe in your thoughts………your opinions………..your beliefs? Most people will jump in and have to lay out the why’s, the what’s, the where’s and the when’s of the topic of conversation. No matter what their beliefs are. When all the other person wanted from you, was to just sit……..listen…….hear them……..understand their view point,………..and do not pass judgement.

We just want to be heard, we just want to use our voice, we just want respect on our views. Even if you don’t agree. I had the opportunity to socially distance with a couple friends during this interesting time
(COVID-19). Listening to their view points, and hearing them, hearing what they feel, what they see, how their emotional state has been. For me it was refreshing to give them a platform to speak, open up, hear them. It gives me a better perspective on their insight. I can be better for them because I listened to them….I heard them……and gave them the respect they deserve…. It truly made me feel better as their friend.

Here is what I know……. We all need to vent………………rant…….. be vocal about what is going on. Share our concerns about our feelings and how this is effecting us personally, and professionally, We need to feel a sense of togetherness without all the judgement. We need to be our best selves and together we can!

Never say can’t. Because we always can. Just try!

Be safe…Stay calm….Make good choices…. Wash your hands and often.

Are you calm? Are you making good choices?

Regina Phalange

It’s a really simple question. In these times we need to be. We need to educate, advocate, understand, your surroundings, be positive, do what is right! Be calm and make good choices!

If you can find a away to make someone’s day, safely, then do it! We all . need a reach out in these times! We have to be there for each other more then ever. Although this to shall pass, take a moment to do a simple action, reach out by checking in on your family, your community members. Simply make a phone call, a video message/chat, a text message, an email, sidewalk chalk messages, simple actions like this show you care. Be kind, treat people with kindness, each of us needs a little more of this.

Here is what I know….. Embrace your surroundings, be positive and share that with all of those around you, in a safe way! Simple actions, speak louder then words. Be safe friends, be calm, make good choices, wash your hands and often. We will power through!

Keep tossing the spaghetti on the wall, something will stick sooner or later.

Regina Phalange

Have you ever found yourself working soooooo smart and you feel like it’s all for nothing, beating your head against the wall and for what? Well sooner or later something will stick. Faith plays a lot into the hope we have for ourselves and what we need to fill our cups. No matter what it is for, self-worth, family, friends, career, money, whatever it is for, we need to continue to find focus and hope for the best and keep powering through.

Here is what I know…. Never say can’t, because you always can, just try and then try again. Surprises that the universe brings us are there we just have to believe!

The struggle is so real…

Regina Phalange

The struggle is so real…… Here we go….. As we hope for real in our lives, sometimes the real is life and all that comes with it. Some good, some not so good, some that is completely unexpected. Enter the struggle with it all. We think life shouldn’t be so challenging, things shouldn’t be so hard, walking our path will have it’s struggles.

However when they are unexpected it takes a toll on our spirits, and can spin it in a way you didn’t think it might. Because we are suppose to be strong, independent, on track, positive, focused. Yet that unexpected takes over and your emotions are just flooded with more then you can handle.

A good friend of mine shared with me his struggles. As he shared what was going on with his life, his marriage, his children, his work, I could see he is on the brink of a break through from the negative. But still struggling with how things fell apart, where and when it happened. Yes he deserves answers. But what I shared with him was so simple and put a smile on his face. I said to him to stop wondering the why’s of it all and start focusing on the change within. Look deep into himself, see the good, the bad and the ugly and find the change. It’s there you just have to have a little faith in yourself.

He was grateful for the “what I know” soap box, and told me you are right, every little thing is going to be alright….

Here is what I know… Take comfort in you… What you are capable of, what your abilities will allow you to do and where your spirit, your mind and your heart can take you! Just “Be Still” it will happen…..You will see….

It’s been awhile.

Regina Phalange

It’s been a long while actually. I took some time to work on a rather large project, involving people (some way to big for their britches), music, partners, sponsors, food, drinks and an amazing day!

The after math is what has hit me in more ways then one, two, three and so on. When you work with someone, there is a level of respect you want, as should they. There is follow through, on whatever your role your part may be. There is communication that is required. There is professionalism that is expected. During the after math so much of the lack there of comes out of the woodwork. We discover that when it’s to good to be true or when someone seems like they are slinging BS (even though they may have some clout) most likely they are full of it!

Knowing all that came with this journey, I have discovered I most certainly can this! I have it in me to learn, to listen, to understand, to take the next steps in the journey. I had my moment… I allowed myself that…And most likely I will have many more…… I will allow myself those moments.. I need to in order to work through what my spirit, emotions, mind and heart tells me!

So here is what I know.. Continue to Believe… Never say can’t…Because you always can….Just try!