Tag: Feelings

What do you believe? What can you believe?

Regina Phalange

What do you believe? What can you believe?
Ever find yourself challenged with this question when it comes to someone? Of course you are. Especially in the early stage of trying to figure out if they are who we might want them to be with and who we want to be with.

In the begging stages of what ever it is we enter into with someone, we ask ourselves these 2 questions (in some fashion) What do we believe? What can we believe? See if someone seems to good to be true, are they? Or aren’t they? We want to feel and believe what someone is telling us is real.
Now step back to when it all started. Think about first and foremost, what was it when you started. What was the playing field of this whatever kind of relationship you are having with this person?
Was it just to go out and have fun????………………..I mean after all it was comfortable so why not just leave it at that….Sure keep telling yourself that…….In the beginning maybe that is  how it was to be played. .

But what happens when it’s past a certain time frame… How long do we wait until we realize hang on, how long have we been doing this now, 4, 5, 6, 7 months.. OK wait, is it more then what it was, when it started? And why am I asking myself this? Could it be that there are feelings that startedo develop? ……..Scary…………………………yes….why? Well because it could be one sided… Then there is the question should I tell the other how I feel?

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes you should… If you feel something more then what it was when it all started then YES you need to find strength and share. Regardless of what you think the outcome is going to be.  You have NO idea what the outcome is going to be, unless you have a magic crystal ball that gives you all the answers. If that is the case then why are you even reading this? Because clearly you and it, that magic crystal ball have all the answers…. Let’s keep it real people. You will never know until you put it out there. If all it was suppose to be was fun and what not, and that person calls you out on it. OWN IT!!! And tell them, hey I”m just keeping it real. I am being honest and need to share how I feel about this now.

Oddly enough this person may completely disappear.  So be it. Keep in mind 90% of them come back. Could be for a variety of reasons. They think maybe your not with someone and you will  give in to them.. Don’t be that person and give in. You are stronger then that! YES YOU ARE!

or….

They could realize you are the real deal and need to take a better look at what you said and what quite possibly have lost.  Enough time has past and they see a bigger picture.

or……

They could realize they need to just give it a shot. Because their absence has made them recognize you, were/are what  they very well could be looking for.

Now with that being said, some may be defensive about it. Yes this happens…… because all it was suppose to be was hanging out and fun.
Sure you were good with that when it started..Yet something happened….Things, feelings happen. Don’t push them away, own it!

They will bark and balk about how you are over thinking things.  They will suggest that you aren’t at all who you put yourself out there to be when it all started.
See the thing is when we spend time with people, especially those you are intrigued with, we tend to find ourselves attaching to them more. We tend to think of them more often. We tend to a lot of things about them….. So you might have been ok with how you both agreed it to be in the beginning. However for you now, yes it’s different and that is OK.

Or that you are hot one minute and cold the next. This is OK as well.
If you are little crazed by the wonder of this person….aaahhhh this is why you should share!
Do not let them make you feel badly, guilty about keeping it real for yourself.

They are simply not at all comfortable with themselves.  Nor do they have a good relationship with themselves.

Remember this therapy blog session?
https://and-here-we-are.com/do-you-have-a-good-relationship-with-yourself/

If you haven’t read it, please do.. It may help shed some light on the topic.

After all you are only human, and with that comes emotions. We as humans need to express ourselves…Keeping it all bottled up does you no good. If someone can’t handle that, then move on! But for you at least you then will know you needed, that was/is to be open, honest, and real!

So here is what I know……..

Don’t back down on who you are. Don’t let someone take over who you are. Do Not Own Their Drama!!!
Always know what you want, who you are, what you need, how you feel. Give yourself a expectation.

 

Foolish thinking……Do we fool ourselves?

Regina Phalange

Into hoping it’s more then what it is? Perhaps we do  just that. Fool ourselves into thinking something is more then what it really is. Why do we do this? Could it be simply it’s what our heart wants, and we can’t help but hope the other is sensing, feeling the exact same way? Could it be that we are to fearful of the outcome if we do come right out and ask…. Is this more to this then what is on the surface? Could it be that we finally want, not that we need it, but want something more and are unsure how to approach the subject with said other?

In whatever type of relationship you are having, it’s really important to keep it real, keep it real, and keep it real! So why are we afraid to share, ask and expect a simple real answer? Unfortunately in this day and age it’s a number of reasons. You have a 50/50 chance that the other is on the same page that you are on. You have the chance that the other is not seeking anything more then what it, sex, so called friendship, blah, blah blah. You have a chance that once you open up to the other, they aren’t quite where you are at, but are open to the idea of it all. With any of those, you have a chance of emotions coming to surface and you need to find away to manage them.

I’m pretty sure we all read into what is put in front of us in some way shape or form. Does this make us Foolish?  We take what people tell us, and consider it honesty,  being open, being adult. Yet there are times, that is is all pulled away from us, because of misrepresentation . This of course comes on many levels.  We wonder why some are jaded. We wonder why some hold so much in and burst at the flames when they can’t take it in anymore.  We wonder how someone can do this to each other. When in reality isn’t all we want in the long run is to be heard, to be respected, to be ourselves, to not feel judgement, to always be able to keep it real?

Here is what I know…….

I have mentioned this a few times before, just keep it real.

When you keep it real with yourself, you keep it real with everyone around you. We are better humans by keeping it real.

Remember growing up, what you were taught… Simple things… It doesn’t have to difficult. KISS (Keep it simple silly)…  Be nice to each other. Use your manners. Say please and thank you. Be gracious and understanding, listen, don’t just hear what someone is saying, listen to them. You might learn more then you realize if you just listen.

So what I know………. is Foolish thinking is OK…. Just know what is real and what is not. Foolish thinking is your clouded mind pondering the wonder that is your moment, with or without someone, it’s moments we ponder and ponder hard about. Doesn’t make us Foolish……It makes us more aware….