Well do you? It all starts there.
I read a great book about 15 years ago called “Social Gathering, in Pursuit of the Perfect Relationship” SG No it’s not about the Perfect Relationship with a man, or a women. It’s about having the perfect relationship with yourself, before you can with someone else. So this book got me thinking on a few levels of the relationships we have with ourselves. Do you have a good emotional, physical, spiritual, financial relationship with yourself? Sometimes we go through phases on all levels of each of these. Now of course when we have all 4 at the same time, it’s amazing how good you feel your life and you are.
Through this discovery myself I can pinpoint right now when it happened for me. No it wasn’t years ago, no it wasn’t after my divorce, nor was it yesterday. It came when things starting falling into place for me. When I could stop and think about for example my physical relationship with myself. I’m not a skinny mini (nor would I want to be), I’m not obese, I’m not perfect by any means, but I look in the mirror and physically feel good about what I see in that mirror. I work hard with the body I have been given, I pay attention to what my genetics are ( have since I was about 18). I know being active is something I will always have to incorporate in my life. By the way working out for me is like therapy, truly it is! I used to hate having to go to the gym. Now I look forward to my 60-90 minute therapy sessions 5-6 days a week. Okay back to the discussion….. I feel good about the skin I am in, I embrace what I see, what I feel about the women standing in front of me in the mirror.
And so with that, I thought about other area’s I seek to….. After my divorce I found control of my finances, finally… yes someone else had control of that for almost 13 years. Once I was able to move out of debt and into what works for me. I was happy with where I am financially. I don’t live high off the hog. I live a frugal simple life. I like nice things, but know how to shop and purchase on the dime…… I have placed my daughter’s college account on track, as it should have been 12 years ago, remember I did not have control of that.. It’s to bad because it could better today if it were. So I took care of that for her. I know I need to do for her, and I think after all that has gone on with our lives over the past 5, 6 years I’ve done a pretty great job at it. The big win here is she has seen first hand how her Mumma has powered through and has taught her the importance of it.
Spiritually, I consider myself a recovering Catholic (don’t judge). I seek a higher power in a different way. Kinda like when Obi Won tells Luke about The Force “It’s an energy field created by all living things, surrounds us penetrates us and combines us all together”. ( https://youtu.be/x2YQJsbbWNA ) When I was about 12, my brother and I saw Star Wars for the first time. It was AWEsome! That scene at that time in my life, living and growing up Catholic, changed my entire thought process of religion. Call it what you want, but there is some wisdom in with what Obi Won has to say about the Force we live in. How we choose to live it… Enough said there.
My Emotional relationship with myself is most likely for me the most important. I find for me it’s the core of my heart. We have to know what we want versus what we need, most importantly why. Knowing who I am inside and out, loving who I am, being who I am for me. I am straight shooter kinda gal, I do not put tulips around anything, nor do I sugar coat anything. I am that lady who will say what everyone else wants to but with a lot of Grace. Keep it real. Always keep it real…. You’ve read that before if you have kept up with me through my writing therapy sessions. So what does this mean basically, don’t hold back, share your feelings, be OK with that. After all it’s part of human nature to feel at some level. If you need to share it and you want to share, then by all means, Share! Once you can do that, and be honest, keep it real with who ever you are sharing with you. You will find something within yourself you might not have realized you had. A voice for your heart… It’s an amazing feeling… Give it a try you’ll see..
So here is what I know………………….
Now don’t get me wrong we all fall short in these areas. If you can look in the mirror and look into yourself. Smile about one of those relationships you have with yourself…..You can find it within yourself to find that great relationship with the others. When you do, you will find the best you, you can be!
