What do you believe? What can you believe?
Ever find yourself challenged with this question when it comes to someone? Of course you are. Especially in the early stage of trying to figure out if they are who we might want them to be with and who we want to be with.
In the begging stages of what ever it is we enter into with someone, we ask ourselves these 2 questions (in some fashion) What do we believe? What can we believe? See if someone seems to good to be true, are they? Or aren’t they? We want to feel and believe what someone is telling us is real.
Now step back to when it all started. Think about first and foremost, what was it when you started. What was the playing field of this whatever kind of relationship you are having with this person?
Was it just to go out and have fun????………………..I mean after all it was comfortable so why not just leave it at that….Sure keep telling yourself that…….In the beginning maybe that is how it was to be played. .
But what happens when it’s past a certain time frame… How long do we wait until we realize hang on, how long have we been doing this now, 4, 5, 6, 7 months.. OK wait, is it more then what it was, when it started? And why am I asking myself this? Could it be that there are feelings that startedo develop? ……..Scary…………………………yes….why? Well because it could be one sided… Then there is the question should I tell the other how I feel?
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes you should… If you feel something more then what it was when it all started then YES you need to find strength and share. Regardless of what you think the outcome is going to be. You have NO idea what the outcome is going to be, unless you have a magic crystal ball that gives you all the answers. If that is the case then why are you even reading this? Because clearly you and it, that magic crystal ball have all the answers…. Let’s keep it real people. You will never know until you put it out there. If all it was suppose to be was fun and what not, and that person calls you out on it. OWN IT!!! And tell them, hey I”m just keeping it real. I am being honest and need to share how I feel about this now.
Oddly enough this person may completely disappear. So be it. Keep in mind 90% of them come back. Could be for a variety of reasons. They think maybe your not with someone and you will give in to them.. Don’t be that person and give in. You are stronger then that! YES YOU ARE!
or….
They could realize you are the real deal and need to take a better look at what you said and what quite possibly have lost. Enough time has past and they see a bigger picture.
or……
They could realize they need to just give it a shot. Because their absence has made them recognize you, were/are what they very well could be looking for.
Now with that being said, some may be defensive about it. Yes this happens…… because all it was suppose to be was hanging out and fun.
Sure you were good with that when it started..Yet something happened….Things, feelings happen. Don’t push them away, own it!
They will bark and balk about how you are over thinking things. They will suggest that you aren’t at all who you put yourself out there to be when it all started.
See the thing is when we spend time with people, especially those you are intrigued with, we tend to find ourselves attaching to them more. We tend to think of them more often. We tend to a lot of things about them….. So you might have been ok with how you both agreed it to be in the beginning. However for you now, yes it’s different and that is OK.
Or that you are hot one minute and cold the next. This is OK as well.
If you are little crazed by the wonder of this person….aaahhhh this is why you should share!
Do not let them make you feel badly, guilty about keeping it real for yourself.
They are simply not at all comfortable with themselves. Nor do they have a good relationship with themselves.
Remember this therapy blog session?
https://and-here-we-are.com/do-you-have-a-good-relationship-with-yourself/
If you haven’t read it, please do.. It may help shed some light on the topic.
After all you are only human, and with that comes emotions. We as humans need to express ourselves…Keeping it all bottled up does you no good. If someone can’t handle that, then move on! But for you at least you then will know you needed, that was/is to be open, honest, and real!
So here is what I know……..
Don’t back down on who you are. Don’t let someone take over who you are. Do Not Own Their Drama!!!
Always know what you want, who you are, what you need, how you feel. Give yourself a expectation.
