When the one we “love” one crosses one…………maybe two…………………………..no how about three boundaries.
What would you do? RUN!!! like Jenny said in Forrest Gump, Run……………………..Forrest…………………..Run!!!
How can someone even consider staying after 3 boundaries are crossed? Trust is completely lost…………… Why stay?
In my network of the who’s who.. One shared their most recent story of a major boundary crossing in her/his relationship.
In the beginning of a relationship there are a lot of factors to seek into and ponder about. Privacy should be one of them, it should be in the top 5 for sure…………….and a respect for it! When the relationship began it of course was something like rainbows and unicorns. We who are wise know that initial start aka the Honeymoon stage in the relationship……. Those of us who are wise, know… it doesn’t’ last…..and it’s our jobs in the relationship to seek, always seek that honeymoon feeling… We won’t get into that now.. Maybe another time……….At any rate……..Neither really knew just where everything was going, where things might be at………..Do we make a commitment?….. Do we not?…… In this stage, there is ZERO commitment, and if an opportunity knocks on the door, you should let it in. With ZERO guilt behind it!!! Because there is no commitment yet……
With that being said, this person did reach out to another, but only as a conversation opportunity. Nothing physical, because it was something familiar from their past, then why not at the very least just have the conversation. In the long run with this conversation, they knew it would never work, the distance was more then the relationship could muster. No harm, no foul….
Yet someone crossed a boundary! Let’s see things to NEVER DO in the beginning stages of a relationship…….Especially when it is literally just beginning. NEVER look through someones phone…NEVER look through someones mail…..NEVER look through someones pocket book aka purse, or wallet. NEVER…..step in as the parent right out of the gate……NEVER……..These are simple……simple rules of engagement in the beginning stages of whatever the relationship is. SIMPLE!!!!!
Nope someone crossed one these boundaries, not once……not twice……3 TIMES!!! Are you kidding me! The 1st time, shame on them!!! the 2nd and 3rd time, SHAME…SHAME on them. The first boundary was crossed so early on into the relationship, this should have been this persons first clue! But to let it happen 2 more times. YEA RUN…………….FORREST………………….RUN……………………
The person who crossed that boundaries excuse was a trust issue, aaaa then flipping have a conversation about it..,…. Nope instead how about we just cross that boundary. And now this is where the back peddling begins. With the I”m so sorry, I know it was wrong. I know have trust issues, I need maybe to talk with someone. Please forgive me. blah…..blah…..blah….and did I mention blah????????????? Seriously!!!!!!!!!!!! The crazy part…is that this friend is considering their appeal………….Seriously! If they cross the boundaries once, twice, three times, they’ll continue to do so!!!!!! This is what some might call a non-trusting-selfish-narcissist….
However for the other to buy into their I’m sorry’s, I’ll do better, It won’t happen again BS………… Well it’s just sad…….. Missing potentially an amazing opportunity for something magical in the future because it’s the environment that you have lived with for the better part of 20 years. WOW I feel actually sad for them. They don’t see the possible potential that is out there…. They are so stuck in their past, that this behavior is ok…..it’s all they know!
Well here is what I know………………
When someone, anyone crosses a boundary…………..RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We all know them, we all know what’s right, we all know what’s wrong, we all have our priorities, and we know what they are!!!! Why deviate from them?
Be mindful of what you have in your heart and listen to your HEAD!!!!!! Stop What IF-ING it!!!
